I had a thought last night. If I was ‘in hiding’ about the truth of my spirituality – my insatiable urge for spiritual growth, my belief in a higher purpose and my automatic / meditative writing – then there must be thousands of people feeling the same way.
I joked with a friend only last week about my ‘coming out’ – I wanted to have a party – my ‘coming out’ party. But joking aside it was a heavy burden holding secrets that I felt I would be heavily judged for, denying who I really was and what really made me tick and feel alive. Trying to fit in and be who everyone around me wanted me to be – at the expense of myself.
What I didn’t anticipate is the synchronicity that came with coming out. I found like minds and they found me. New amazing friendships were formed and I knew I could never go back to how I used to be. I could no longer pretend, I had to be me.
I’d felt so isolated for years, feeling so different from everyone around me, so desperate to fit in and be liked. My world of secret reading and writing was a lonely one, yet every book I read or online course I took made me feel like I was being supported and urged to keep going and keep learning more and work on myself. I felt like many of the authors of the spiritual and self-help books I read were friends. Some of their words spoke directly to me, soothing, calming, teaching and always offering me compassion.
My turning point came when I started to attend courses and workshops in person – my world opened up as a result of meeting new people where I could be myself. It was such a relief to meet like minds and be open and not feel isolated. I wonder if you’ve had the same experience too?
We’re the revolutionary ones thinking and acting in a different way. It’s revolutionary to want change and anyone on this path wants that. Whether it’s for themselves, or the world at large, self-help and spiritual growth is a courageous act. It’s certainly not for the faint-hearted. In fact it’s for the big hearted. The ones whose hearts have given away so much of themselves and received so little back.
When we first start on the path of spiritual growth – when we first awaken to its calling – we’re in a hive of confusion – jutting between 2 worlds, trying to navigate in one and remember the other. What at first makes us feel like an outcast turns into what makes us feel loved, appreciated and respected beyond measure. It gives us, us back. It reunites all the parts of us that we had to let go of just to survive and be accepted by society and those around us. But when those parts start knocking, wanting to remind us that they are there, miracles take place. For without the unification we can’t feel whole and always feel that we are missing something – which we are – the very parts of ourselves that we want to acknowledge. When we acknowledge and honour our the silence within ourselves inner miracles take place. It’s alchemy in its purest and simplest form. We give ourselves permission to love and respect the truth of who we really are and in return we experience a deeper knowing of ourselves – we reconnect to our soul. And that is the most liberating and meaningful thing we can do as true self-love is the catalyst for the great life that we know deep down we deserve.
If we look at it clearly we can see that since we were a child the majority of us were encouraged to be like everyone else, not to stand out. We were taught to follow instructions and told how to behave and what we should expect from life. But that was within the parameters of our schooling and society as a whole. The school system was the very fabric that stopped us from wanting to be different, that made us shut down our intuition – that ensured we would want to fit in at any cost. And that cost was at the expense of ourselves. But at some point, maybe through a life crisis, a breaking point, we would scream (inwardly or maybe outwardly) Enough is Enough. There is ancient wisdom and divine knowledge in the phrase Enough is Enough. When we say it and feel it with every vibe and bone in our body – when we really know that we mean it – that’s the transmuting point. And before we know it we are feeling good about ourselves for the first time, perhaps ever! Those wounded hurt parts, that are no longer being denied, come racing back saying thank god we’re not being ignored anymore – we’re free to express ourselves.
So I urge you – if you’re in hiding – please come out. Please don’t be afraid, please know that there is so much help and support just waiting to come to you. Please know that sometimes the people who you think will be your biggest criticizers can sometimes turn out to be your biggest champions.
As I was thinking about writing this blog post I felt the urge to do automatic / meditative writing and this is what came through that I want to share with you:
“When you say yes to yourself, you say yes to the universe”
“1 in 12 are in hiding. This might sound like a lot, and an unrealistic amount but we tell you it is true. Some are hiding from fear, whilst others are hiding out of lack of love for themselves. Both root causes are as debilitating and as painful as the next. Denying who you really are should be the biggest fear, not worrying about what other people think, and therefore staying small and separated. Yet worrying what people think is completely valid because you can only reach the point of not needing validation when your self love is strong. And so we see the vicious circle that traps so many in a life that is being lived for other people. Breaking free starts with baby steps that then turn into giant leaps. As you look back you realise that things that previously seemed impossible have actually been achieved.
When you say yes to yourself you say yes to the universe. And when you say yes to the universe you invoke all the help of the universe. Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes. Said five times, 3 times a day for a week will start to change your biochemistry – you need not know what you are saying yes to, it is enough just to say it. Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes has great power. It has the alchemical power to transform everything that you have been saying no to.
When you say yes to you, you say yes to life and yes to living a life that brings purpose, passion and pleasure. When you are living with purpose and passion abundance and prosperity naturally have to flow to you. It’s the rule of the universe. It’s universal law. It’s a given. It’s that simple. Yes you have to take action to make your dreams come true but at a deeper level they already have. They were just waiting for you.”